The Weight of Waiting

Can you hear my call, I'm begging for mercy
Let me explain everything
Feeling like if I open up now
The essence of me will become polluted
All I can do is avoid anything that gets inside
Until I can dilute it
And it may not look like a spectacular fight
But I'm giving it all I've got
Been waiting for the time to start making the climb
Cause I'm hiding it all inside
I'm gonna spread my arms out wide
If I can make it up through muddy water
There's no way I'm coming out clean
Risen up above that murky horizon
I can reveal all of me
All I ask is that you hold some patience
Find it in your heart to see me fully open
Take time to wait for full arrival
When I've reached the end, I can show you who I am
And when you see the real me, I hope you can see beyond
And see the doubts that I've overcome
I can honestly say I was never born this way
I had to fight for what I've become
Standing full in the summer sun
If I can make it up through muddy water
There's no way I'm coming out clean
Risen up above that murky horizon
I can reveal all of me
I'm sorry if I seem standoffish
I'm sorry if I looked away
I'm sorry if I made you feel I hated you in any way
Harboring what's inside of me, and I'm scared to set it free
I had to wait until I was safe before I could just be me
So I can make it up through muddy water
There's no way I'm coming out clean
Risen up above that murky horizon
I can reveal all of me
Can you hear my call, I'm begging for mercy
Let me explain everything