Undesirable Element (Lovebox)
[Verse 1]
So far everything's going swimmingly
I'm feeling over confident (yeah)
Standing at the gates with my arms straight out
Just chatting to the bouncers, all nonchalant
But I'm suddenly aware of this movement, below me
Something circling my trainers
And in a split second I realise
I'm fucked, there's no way this is gonna be painless
The dog barks
And before I can pull myself together
Swiftly approaches a PC (beautiful)
She looks me dead in the eye and says
'Sir, I know you're carrying something you shouldn't be'
And then she says 'put your palms together'
And takes me in this weird thumb hold thing
Leading me through that gawping crowd
Told my mum she would've been so proud
So now I'm sitting on a bench in a holding tent
Thinking I'm way too old for this shit
And there's not much to do but take off my shoes
And hand over my disco biscuits
And she thanking me for my compliance and saying
'You seem quite honest to me sir
But we still need to a very thorough strip search
I'm afraid it's just standard procedure'
[Chorus]
I was only looking for a good time Officer
Good time, good time, good time
I was only looking for a good time Officer
Good time, good time
[Verse 2]
Now I'm standing there in my birthday suit
With my crowned jewels pulled to one side (one side)
And there's a neon sign that keeps flashing in my mind
It says 'not quite dignified'
And if you combined the two ages of the officers watching
I doubt it's more than 36
And I'm thinking
I bet you didn't sign up to spend all your weekends
Inspecting strangers dicks
I pull up my clothes and join the rest of the criminals
Making various protests
Standing in line to be processed
Interview, autograph, fingerprints, photograph
A skinny moustache on the man reading my rights
He says a lot of other stuff I can't remember
And for the purpose of this story it's irrelevant
And he finishes with the wisdom
'Oh oh now sir, you are the undesirable element'
(Undesirable, undesirable)
[Chorus]
I was only looking for a good time Officer
Good time, good time, good time, yeah
I was only looking for a good time Officer
Good time, good time, good
I was only looking for a good time Officer
I was only looking for a good time
I was only looking for a good time
I was only looking for a good time