Monster
[Chorus]
I'm so over this high that I've been chasin'
Different day, same shit, same conversation
And I don't know how much longer I can take it
'Cause I can't look at this monster I created
[Verse 1]
I don't really get you, tell me, what's the issue?
You don't like your current circumstance, it doesn't fit you?
Didn't know the power of the world until it bit you
Chewed you up and had it's way with you until it spit you
How you really had the nerve to think it wouldn't pick you?
Think you special
Before the money and motives, I was sharin' a dream
Nowadays, all I do is stare at the screen
Obsessin' ovеr numbers while I stare at thе streams
'Cause more plays is more money in a pair of my jeans
Gettin' monthly checks from the music is a blessin'
When you're usin' it for rent though, it turn into you stressin'
'Cause when somethin' that you purely only use for self expression
Now becomes an obligation, that's when things'll get depressin', man
Fuck, fuck all this shit
[Chorus]
I'm so over this high that I've been chasin' (I told you, it has everything to do with it)
Different day, same shit, same conversation (Definition of insanity)
Then somethin' happened somewhere where I got jaded
Were all these hopes and promises overrated?
[Verse 2]
Window shoppin' in a store
Wait for opportunity come knockin' at the door
Sayin' "yes" to shit that you don't really wanna do
So how would you expect for this to not become a chore?
Nostalgic memories remember how it was before
It would be a shame to let the progress get ignored
Happens when you constantly just lookin' at the score
Then tell me what it's really all for?
Real shit, damn
[Chorus]
I'm so over this high that I've been chasin'
Different day, same shit, same conversation
And I don't know how much longer I can take it
'Cause I can't look at this monster I created
[Verse 3]
Back when I was just an innocent lad
Grew up thinkin' different was bad
'Cause I wasn't like the other kids, Polish with an immigrant dad
Immigrant mom, petrified I didn't belong
I'm goin' back and forth in languages, Moms learnin' English
If the teacher had a question, I was better off explainin' it
Think my parents comin' to this country havin' nothin'
Is what fuled me for success, entertainin' it
And it's work, but that way of thinkin's dangerous
I don't know if I'm proud or I'm ashamed of it
Stressed about gettin' ahead
At what point does the money start to get to your head?
At what point do you feel like you doin' enough?
I'll take a simple thing, make it feel confusin' as fuck
Man, please define makin' it
'Cause I don't know if I even know, and I keep debatin' it
Comparin', it ain't helpin' me grow, there's no escapin' it
I'm strugglin' with lettin' it go instead of facin' it
I'm strugglin' with lettin' it go, I keep chasin' it
But
[Chorus]
I'm so over this high that I've been chasin'
Different day, same shit, same conversation
And I don't know how much longer I can take it
'Cause I can't look at this monster I created