Han-Tyumi The Confused Cyborg

Hello
My name is Han-Tyumi
I am a cyborg

Born
If you may call it that
In a world that is dense and black
Created without a desire to draw breath
Without a desire to have being
Without a yearning of just to be

I'd like my desire back
My life back
My soul back
My humanity

Oh how I long for it
For an era I have meditated
Like the primordial Buddha beneath the Bodhi
My pseudo-mind pseudo-wandered

I climbed and I clambered
And I ambled upon some understanding
The gold beneath the virtual rainbow
I am bereft of two human things

Two things that a cyborg can never do
Two things that I strive for
Two things between myself and mankind
Death
And
To vomit

I want the perspiration
I want the nausea
I want to be sick
I want to feel the hot piquant nuggets
I want it to find passage through my cold figure
I want to make a mess
I want the odour
I want the spectacle

And I want it again
I want it all
And I would like to die
A noble death
Or a coward's death
A hero's death
Or a lonely death
To die in the arms of a lover
Or the arms of an alien

I desire my cache of experience to pulsate through my quasi-synapses
And then to be gone
Expired
Perish
Fallen
Dead
For evermore