The Dent, The Midget and The Parcel
[Intro: Lee Scott]
Wake up.. wake up...
[Verse 1: Lee Scott]
I woke up, or at least I think I did
Momentarily shocked - I wasn't still a kid
I was thirteen in my dream
I shouldn't - but kicked the covers off me - now I'm in the kitchen with a cup of coffee
"The fuck is wrong Lee? I thought you hate this shit
It makes you feel mad and you don't even like the taste of it"
I pour the rest in the sink, stick the mug on the side
Notice there's a dent in the fridge, now I'm wondering why
I'm sure I've never seen that shit before
And "Bang Bang!" it sounds like the police are at the door
And I'm not sure as to whether I should answer it
But I'm already at the door and there's another angry bang on it
I think to meself "Lunge forward and fucking strangle it"
The worst is bound to happen, I imagine it, I plan for it
Take a deep breath and compose meself
Then unlock the door and open in a single cautious motion
Stand back, I gasped in startle
To find a midget on me door step, tryna play a game of Pass The Parcel
I take the package from this four foot, hateful savage
And slam the door shut, like "What the fuck!?"
I mission on, six steps to the kitchen
Carrying this anonymous box of goods
I stare at the dent in the fridge door, tryna think:
"Should I make another coffee just to pour it down the sink?"
And I'm hungry but how is someone this fuming supposed to eat?
So I just walk back to me room and I go to sleep
A crazy hateful midget flipped his lid
And I jumped and woke up, or at least I think I did
And that's enough to fill you with a sickening mixture of dread and spite
And it was either getting dark or getting light
I rode over, knocking something off the end of me bed
And a million dreadful scenario's entered me head
I thought to meself:
"If I'm gonna perish now I might as well at least try and get some sleep"
So I drifted off into The Land of Nod, dot dot dot...
I woke up, this time I knew I did
Me chest was tight, I was definitely getting light
And I wondered what the weather's like
I used me elbows to push meself to the end of me bed to check
And I go to put me feet down onto the floor and step
Onto a foreign object that wasn't there before
Someone must've crept in while I was catching Z's
And left a strange parcel - I scratched me head
I wondered what it could be; suspicion gets the best of me
I put it back down on the ground, where I found it
And slowly backed out of the room, all the way to the kitchen
Where I noticed this dent on the fridge, and-
I had this vision of some sort of strange
Psychotic hobbit; midget
Then I hear the bang on the front door
It sounds like the police, shit
I smashed straight through the window and bailed down the street
With glass in me hands and feet