Early Mourning

I’ve begged for pain for so many years
Praying to god, falling on deaf ears
Hearing the voices of the dead
Visions of suffering in my head

I am your slave for eternity
Cut me just to watch me bleed
I’m begging you for suffering
My only fix is the pain

I scream out your name in vain
Twisting pleasure into pain
Thoughts fade, empty creeps in
The hurting will never end

Living a life filled with sin
Playing a game I know that I can’t win
Bottle up jealousy gets the best of me
Secrets of life I now know aren’t free

God's voice, deafening
The light is my only refuge
Forgiveness never comes
Save me from the mental abuse

Mental exhaustion
My skin begins to swell and blister
Endless suffering
The burning familiar I’ve missed ya