Blue Bread Mold

Line up, you survivors, the doctor's come to town:
Tell me all your symptoms, please, and haul your trousers down
Half your troubles these days don't need to be told
But I can cure the other half with blue bread mold

Chorus:
Blue bread mold, the story must be told
Nothin' keeps ya livin' like the blue bread mold
Blue bread mold, the story must be told
Nothin' keeps ya livin' like the blue bread mold

I notice that you're bleeding, and it isn't monthly flow --
How ya got yourself cut up, I don't need to know
But wash your wounds with alcohol before they're dry and cold
And finish it with a dusting of the blue bread mold

Now you, you've left this cut too long. It's stinking, and it's blue
But don't consider suicide, I've just the thing for you
Come here, you guys, and hold 'im down, if you would be so bold
We'll clean this out with bleach and then with blue bread mold

And you, you've got a nasty cough, a fever, and the shakes
So swallow this stuff twice a day, a spoonful's all it takes
That'll cure it proper, if it ain't the common cold --
For ten days gargle garlic juice with blue bread mold

Now you look strong and healthy. So what's the problem, please?
You say there's just no flavor in your local sheep-milk cheese?
Well, dust this powder on the curds, stir and roll and fold
You can change your cheese to Roquefort with the blue bread mold

So listen to your travelin' doc before I have to go
To keep your wounds and water clean, you already know
But listen, you survivors, if you plan on growing old
Then keep a generous breeding stock of blue bread mold

Blue bread mold, the story must be told
Nothin' keeps ya livin' like the blue bread mold
Blue bread mold, a treasure more than gold
You can call it penicillin, but it's blue bread mold