Dirt I Cannot Wash

I've surrendered so much I've forgotten to live

You ask for too much

But what do you give?

The scales now fall from before my eyes

And I can see through your artifice

Finally the truth has dawned upon me

And with its light

I can clearly see

That I am alone when I am with you

To my feelings I can never be true

Seeds of doubt will never bear fruit

And so it is our love follows suit

I can give no more

I need something back

And you seem unable to relieve my lack

The giving has just been all on one side

And no one can tell me I have not tried

I see from the past I must cut loose

The time of my going I will choose

A letting of blood and an end to pain

My life in this way I will regain

I can't look on you in the same way now

Absolutes have turned to relatives

And I am consumed by a family of doubts

I can hear whispers through the shouts

Sounds and tones that, whilst discordant

Raise me from my slumber dormant

Your fell deeds make a lie of your words

To say you love me seems absurd

And I will laugh as I have the heart

The will to end this and make a new start

I can give no more

I need something back

And you seem unable to relieve my lack

The giving has just been all on one side

And no one can tell me I have not tried

I see from the past I must cut loose

The time of my going I will choose

A letting of blood and an end to pain

My life in this way I will regain

Surrounded by lotus

But wracked by pain

On my waking life it has left its stain

While much of my suffering has gone unseen

The truth is again that I have been

Laid low by the sacrifice I have made for you

The help I needed I think you knew

Bowed under the yoke

A crippling weight

These wounds you'll see far too late

Sadly I know they'll not go unwept

Blame the promises you have not kept