Mistake

He wakes up
Brushes his teeth and ignores the headache
The repetitive ache behind his tired chest and eyes only grows each morning
Like an apple seed planted behind sunken eyes only being watered alcohol and fertilized in morphine

Cockroaches
Clutter piling high
Stains and sticky walls
The wasteland of what used to be beauty
The home of a family remaining only in distant memory
The beautiful memory of what used to be

He can only live off of memories now
The things that kept him going slipped through his dirty, filthy, hands
Like the water that runs out his rusty faucet in his backyard
The water he used to wash away the smells of urine from his clothes and hands

Now he's left with only the smoke and the textures of the dusty dinner table
The same table that served dinner long ago
Now vacant and empty
The once beautiful home
Now vacant and empty
Now vacant

Toxic
Toxic rooms
Ashes falling
Sticky clouds and smoke

Choking
Choking on not only the parasitic air
But on the realization, this was his own doing
This was his own doing
This was his mistake
This was his mistake

Laying on the floor
The world melts around him
Sinking like weights in never-ending quicksand
There's nothing he can do
It's too late
It's too late

Remembering all the times he had
Wishing he chose those times rather than the path he took
And as his body shakes and the world goes black, he whispers
"I love you. I miss you" On the floor of the vacant living room

Fading
Scared
Wondering if he's going to wake up this time
Wondering if he's going to wake up this time

This is his last time

This is his last time
This is his last day
This is his last month
This is his last moment
Spent whispering
"I love you. I miss you" On the floor of his vacant living room