Don't Try to Lay No Boogie Woogie on the King of R

You know I remember a few years ago, some funny things used to happen
to me, about 1956-57. At that time, there was no blues scene or, uh, not
really any kind of scene in, uh, London. I used to go out and play my guitar
in the streets and sing things with um, passin' the hat 'round. I remember one particular night, I was uh, playing the guitar in a little alleyway just off of Wardour Street in Soho and uh, I got busted by the police. This policeman
came up and dragged me in, my guitar and, my hat full of pennies, off to
the police station. Anyway, the next day I had to appear in Marlboro street
police court and uh, it was quite a day. Police officer giving his evidence:

"I was proceeding in a Southerly direction, Milord, when I heard uh, strange
sounds coming from the Wardour Place, Mi'lord. A sort of boogie-woogie music
was being played. On further investigation, I saw the defendant standing there
with a guitar and an old hat on the floor collecting pennies. Well, I decided that
uh, he was contravening a breach of the peace, there, as there was a traffic jam
about five miles long behind Wardour Street, wondering what all the uh, fuss was
about, so then I arrested the uh, defendant"

"Uh, just one moment, officer. Wh-what is this boogie-woogie music here we're
talking about?"

"Oh, well Mi'lord", said the officer, getting out his notebook, obviously he'd been doing up his homework, "it's a kind of jazz rhythm music peculiar to the American
negro"

"Oh. What was the defendant doing, uh, playing this kind of music there in
Wardour Street?"

Anyway, I got off with a caution, a year's conditional discharge, but I'll always
remember that policeman and his boogie-woogie, so don't try to lay no
boogie-woogie on the king of rock and roll.

Don't you tell me none o' your lies woman 'cause all you know I've told ya
Don't sell me no alibi sister 'cause all you've got I've sold
You better leave that midnight sneakin' to the one who worked it out
I don't wanna hear no back talk speakin' go on and shut yer mouth
And everything's gonna work out tight if you act like you been told
So don't try to lay no boogie woogie on the king of rock and roll.

Don't you feed me no TV dinners when you know I'm used to steak
I don't need no rank beginners when it's time to shake that shake
You better pull your thing together, reach in and dust it out
And if ya feel that you just can't dig it then I guess you know you don't know what it's all about
It ain't a matter of pork 'n beans that's gonna justify your soul
Just don't try to lay no boogie woogie on the king of rock and roll.

Don't try to lay no boogie-woogie on the king of rock and roll.

You weren't alive when I started to drive, so don't put none on me
You didn't arrive 'til late '45 but your head's in '53.
You got what it takes to keep the heads a-spinnin' down by the old rib shack
And you come across just like a fool grinnin' in the back of a red Cadillac.
You can't come across the Astro bridge until you pay the toll
So don't try to lay no boogie woogie on the king of rock and roll.