Made Of Ale

Mucky hiker hitching west along the M65
She's got seamen on her chest
(Semen)
And Morecambe on her sign
(More come)

She said, she'd got her menstrual cycle
I said, "You'd better park it"
Didn't want to make a meal of her
So I gave her a lump of hot fish yogurt
I bet she comes from Macclesfield

Filthy, fat and flatulent
She couldn't make a decent brew
Ugly as a pig, she couldn't cook a Jew
(Coo-ca-choo)

It's no wonder they call them pigs
Look at the way she grunts
She thinks she's posh but she's like a tampon
'Coz they're both just stuck up cunts
I bet she comes from Macclesfield

Turned out she owned a pub in London
Called the Old White Hart
She became my Maid of Ale (Maida Vale)
But I had to put up with her fishy cunt farts