E.R.N.I.E.

I am the bringer of your wishes
Your savior from doing work
The washer of your dishes
And you'll still get your midday perk
Estate agent your mansion
And pot of gold
All the home comforts
Before you're getting tired and old

One more try
Try to get what you've never had
Five more bob
For the whole world that can't be bad
We can't all win
Look it's happening
The future's looking not so bleak
A thousand winners every week [x2]

So when you hear me coming
Along halls and up the stairs (E.R.N.I.E.)
In the back of teapots
In the cupboard, under chairs (E.R.N.I.E.)
Forget all your wives tales
Of forecasts and dividends (E.R.N.I.E.)
When E.R.N.I.E. feels vibrations
Only pays out to trusted friends

One more try
Try to get what you've never had
Five more bob
For the whole world that can't be bad
We can't all win
Look it's happening
The future's looking not so bleak
A thousand winners every week [x2]

Congratulations you've just won
A five thousand pound premium bond

Keep your hand on the bottle
And your eyes glued upon the set (E.R.N.I.E.)
When the score cards come up
Could be you for the big one next (E.R.N.I.E.)
Publicity, no thank you
On the front page of the Currant Bun (E.R.N.I.E.)
They think you stink
But in the pub you'll be number one

One more try
Try to get what you've never had
Five more bob
For the whole world that can't be bad
We can't all win
Look it's happening
The future's looking not so bleak
A thousand winners every week [x4]