Lost

I am lost in my self
With clothes from lost
A type of surf brand
With waves in the ocean
Drowned trough emotions
Even tho it's just a design
Yeah
My mind is tripping
The dogs been barking
My mom is calling
Telling me that i gotta eat well
And i just ate a fucking slide of P
Like if that's enough to be a good child
I'm wild on me cause i been having this pressure on my chest
I'm boutta ripped my tee to let my thoughts be free
You hating me like we got beef
But i been in the back of my crib making this beat
And this wack ass lyrics that doesn't mean nothing to me
I put my situation on god but he told that I can be better than that
And dad, told me that i cannot do that
So what am i supposed to do with this drama
Over the phone while i was talking with my momma,
And she said she proud of me but I don't feel it
Anyways i feel like i been living life since i turned eighteen
My tears won't fall even if i try to cry
I wish i could try to die
Cause i couldn't cry
And i swear that i tried
If this the new me then i deserved to be fucked up
Cause a fucked up men deserves a fucked up life
But
Still wish to get famous
Still wish to get nameless
I mean my name is Ismael not Mael
OTB is just a label that i made with no
Meaning for nobody else but me,
And i know it says off the beat
But nobody know what is the meaning of what ever i did
And if you wanna know it just repeat this shit
Cause once I disappear
Your life won't be near
My heart full of fears
Eyes outta tears
Tears out my eyes when i was seventeen
But i never imagined how this shit could be so
I'm sorry to my self for being me
And even tho my shit gets tuff
I still wish for good things