How To Say No (Indulgence Yunkie)

This is the price mother
The lie I am won't stand much longer
Their laughter is growing huge
And monstrous devouring the sky

I believed to be above
Now I realize I was always under
This was only the end of the page
The last cigarette, another mistake
To wipe out from my bed

Hummingbirds below the blankets
Shake their wings in your lover's ashes
That Sun went blind and eyes grew
To your new light, to wipe all fear away

Into the game again, knees, elbows, heart ablaze
Too many layers of paint, over my childish ways
Too many broken smiles, before this even starts
Into the game again, I didn't even say yes

You speak of gratitude
But I ain't getting nothing in return
The fox took for granted and the hare
Sharpened its teeth and claws and said
You may have won this land, but, wait
Who gave you power over my name?

I see your gun charged, I lost the gaze
Into those eyes so briefly blessed
Until the light completely fades
Until the last chance is erased

And I could love you like the girl I was before
The tiny wars of hate came bombing down
To carve my trench
Where trust and lust became the game I knew too well
And in my bed, became the poison on which I fed

And I will rise up, again and again
And I will rise up, ignore the stain
(You disown what I built, I deny what I feel
And the countdown as wrong as four, one, three)