Simpson (The Funeral Agency Man)

Simpson!

[Verse 1]
It ain't to say ah ain't got a sense of humour
But I don·t like the latest rumour
Of course ah got a sense of humour
But I don·t like the latest rumour
People all about
Have it to say how Sparrow kick out
He was in some kind of collision
Poor soul and he dead, dead and gone
(Amen)

Well every half an hour somebody ringing up
Until they get the news they don't intend to stop
Guess who?
Yes I knew Sparrow, a very nice fellow
Whenever we met hе always said hello
Guess who?

[Chorus]
It was Simpson the funеral agency man
With the coffin in he hand
(Simpson!) The funeral agency man
Oh yes he working in the junction

Simpson!

[Verse 2]
Is now to hear how much money ah owing
So much false receipt they showing
People start to say how they sorry
Ah dead and gone they ain't get chance to sue me
This time my family
Clean out a spot in the cemetery
They ain't worried because they hear Sparrow get kill
They want to know which one of them ah have in the will
(Amen)

Somebody ring the newspaper, they ring the radio
They just got to find out if it's really so
Guess who?
Yes I love his records, and I got every one
And now ah feel so sorry to know that he is gone
Guess who?

[Chorus]
You mean to say you don't know?
Simpson the funeral agency man
With the coffin in he hand
(Simpson!) Oh yes, the funeral agency man
You know he working in the junction

Simpson!

[Verse 3]
Ah fella tell me something, he may be lying
But he say plenty women was crying
Women may never talk to me yet
But they crying all their dress wet
Boo-boo, boo-hoo
Sparrow dead, now wey we go do?
Give me the dagger from off the shelf
I might as well kill myself
(Amen)

Yes, they say they see a man by Piccadilly Street
With a candle in he hand and two slippers on his feet
Guess who?
Yes, they say they thought the man was really out his head
He say he waiting for me although he hear ah dead
Guess who?

[Chorus]
Everybody know Simpson the funeral agency man
With the coffin in he hand
(Simpson!) Oh yes the funeral agency man
Lord he working in the junction

Simpson!

[Verse 4]
Ah hear they done make big preparation
To head my funeral with All Stars Steelband
Yes siree, decision was really quick
They ask the Steelband-men to play Sputnik
For the funeral they hire All Stars
But for the wake was that scamp Cyril Diaz
Biscuit and coffee set, they ready to fete
The only disappointment is I ain't dead yet
(Amen)

I know they really really thought the news was on the level
The man who start this rumour is as wicked as the devil
Guess who?
Yes is all a joke to him, he laughing, he ain't care
With he nose like a funnel and he mouth touching he ears
Guess who?

[Chorus]
It was Melody the ugliest Calypsonian
With a face like a saucepan
Melody, the ugliest Calypsonian
So ugly and mauvaise langue