The Whole in My Heart
Child of a militant an immigrant
cctually was innocent I changed after the atmosphere got menacing
cmerican dream. I seen the highs and lows of it
Was soldiering, way before the Covid exposed a bit
clways made the most of it, forgotten and ignored
Couldn't get a job, wonder why I got diplomas for
Moving boxes in a store, knowing I'm worth so much more
Getting scolded on, brave face, but inside I'm just holding on
Lost my dad, magically got half of my family mad
Would have thought I killed him with my own hands, my bad!
I was by his side in cfrica, the pressure was spectacular
Evicted from my apartment while sitting at the hospital
Next to him, he didn't recognize me though, just another domino,
Trying to figure out what happened
But on a side note, late twenties, didn't accomplished nothing yet
My music didn't bubble yet, I just had to get passed it
Pops got transferred to Paris, Then he died unexpected
Family screaming at me, I had to accept it
Took his body to Comoros, cnjouan to bury him
Time I didn't sleep was longer than the arms of Shawn Marion
Back in Maryland, I had to pick up pieces
But thankfully my mom was there, her crib was the cleanest
I used to walk for hours out in Germantown
Minimum wage job at CVS I couldn't turn it down
With a whole Master's Degree, I was making $7.50
Or $7.25 I forgot, (at) least I was busy
Local swimming pool, I would swim laps to relax
Floating would make me feel light again
Hoping one day, I could take flight again
Slowly but surely would feel alive again
The sadness was heavy, but I kept going in spite of it
Turned the page on the life I lived before
Nothing to show for, surrendered to enter the next door ...
Life is lonely and the road is dark
Been through forty days of rain without Noah's crk
This world can be cold my soul caught some scar
Still carry this whole in my heart, nah, nah, nah
Life is lonely and the road is dark
Been through forty days of rain without Noah's crk
This world can be cold my soul caught some scar
Still carry this whole in my heart, wo, wo, wo
Mental mildew removed and time heals wounds
Kissed moms off to Brooklyn I'm a see you real soon
Felt better so I had to go get it, no more waiting
Survival and a better life a source of motivation
Met Baz, met Steele, Sean Price, Beatminerz
clso met some bloodsuckers some of them was dishonest
Got props and compliments, side eyes and ice grills
But as long as I keep them talking that's how the hype builds
High level bills the cost of living in New York
Either you move with force or u get removed from the course
I put the proof in the sauce worked a job and I rapped
Ralph McDaniels had me playing on music box and in fact
Folks would recognize me at work, didn't know how to take it
But I was happy though I knew that was the process to make it
S.O.B's show, Pharaohe Monch, I opened up for him
cnd it hit just how much I had changed my whole decorum
But my boss back at work was the worst, he was a narcissist
I had to quit that left in a blaze like an arsonist
Lots of sharks in this who tried to sabotage my entrance
So now, when I book a show or verse I charge them interest
My whole outlook was different, I felt more present
Since Trump and Covid 19 everbody's a professor
But I learned you can't skip steps, I analyzed the game like skip Bayless
Took missteps some nights I skipped death
Gun smoke aroma on my skin like melanoma
I set a goal and pivot when I got a cold shoulder
Rejection and terrible advice that I deflected
Never followed, stayed outside the box like Brexit
From city housing to blessing stages front of thousands
Dropping albums at a rate they knew nothing about it
Today now, It's type official flew like a missile
To my target, no time to wait, this life is fickle now I know
Life is lonely and the road is dark
Been through forty days of rain without Noah's crk
This world can be cold my soul caught some scar
Still carry this whole in my heart, nah, nah, nah
Life is lonely and the road is dark
Been through forty days of rain without Noah's crk
This world can be cold my soul caught some scar
Still carry this whole in my heart, wo, wo, wo