My Fault
When the depression sets in thats when the thoughts in my head start wrestling
But I still move with discretion never letting anyone in
Or giving them anything they can use as a weapon
Told hold it against me I will never see defeat like obese people staring down
Playing Russian roulette with five shots loaded in a six shooter
Spun the barrel pulled thee trigger nothing came out
To me that means I'm meant to be here for my children
And lend a shoulder then they need to shed a tear
Be their strength while they're weak their courage
When they feel fear for them ill let nothing interfere
I would never want my kids to sit there and feet like I do towards my parents
If they did id be completely embarrassed my love stretches beyond words
And is far from generic
It did something to me seeing them fold my great grandfathers flag
And hearing t hat trumpet play
I just want to smell that suppers ready and hear my grandmother call my name
Ive done carried way too many people to their final resting place
Id change positions in half a heartbeat I swear thats all it would take (But I cant go yet)
Maybe everyone is right and I'm the one who's wrong
Cause they keep pointing fingers saying its all my fault
Well fuck it ill take the blame when will I belong
They hate you while you're here but love you when you're gone
Whenever I call out I never get a response
Sometimes its hard to find the strength to carry on
Im not sorry that I can not be who they want
Rather be loved while I'm here then hated when I'm gone
I could never give in and quit no time for a hissy fit or to sit back and chit chat
And fantasize about where I could've been
If I would've done this or that I have to leave the past exactly where its at
I am a father so its my job until I die to guide and provide if mine
Needed a diaper on its ass or food in its stomach
And I couldn't give it to um how could I look them in their eyes
Nope not I I've finally realized its either me or them and by them
I mean anyone who wants to attempt
To check this emcee you'll get wrecked everyone is a target there will be no artists left
Lubricate your feelings and your opinions and well yeah
You know where to stick them
Pen dissects the rhythm hear it ribbit
You'll be hearing crickets an autopsy is needed every time my shit ends
Im the mad scientist out this bitch you don't want me to sit in the lab and flip the switch
Cause nobody survives the voltage not even monsters with bolts in their necks
Maybe everyone is right and I'm the one who's wrong
Cause they keep pointing fingers saying its all my fault
Well fuck it ill take the blame when will I belong
They hate you while you're here but love you when you're gone
Whenever I call out I never get a response
Sometimes its hard to find the strength to carry on
Im not sorry that I can not be who they want
Rather be loved while I'm here then hated when I'm gone