Das Uber Tuber, Or. The Mystery Of Mr. P.

(intro)

Mr potato head, master of disguise
He can turn into over 50 completely different guys!
Is he a blonde or is his hair red
You'll never know with mr potato head
He's hot! he's out of control
Who's that rappeling down the side of the villain's secret lair
Who's that over there with the countess, sipping sherry with such understated flair
He's cooking when he's when he's behind the wheel
Of the mr. potato head mobile
He goes out for a ride
Changes into some other guy
Probably takes the heat in the ride
We're all waiting
He's going straight ahead
Then suddenly, he turns into a drive
Mr. potato head, super secret spy
Cowboy secret space detective, super private eye
He puts on a disguise
He could be anyone of a dozen other potato-headed men
He's not really out of control
He's not even really a man
He came through
He's doing the best that he can
All he wants is what anybody wants, just a simple life
With his loving wife
But it's hard to get his family a home when he's always battling Hugo
Who's that hiding in enormous faces
Who's that kid with corn stuck in his braces
Who's all genders creeds, and races
Hugo, Man of a Thousand Faces!
Who's been schooled in all the social graces
Who's that parked in all the handicap spaces
Who can draw anything as long as he traces
Hugo, Man of a Thousand Faces!
It had to happen one day
They both knew this was the way
They'd trained for this their whole lives;
They hugged their kids and kissed their wives
Hugo pulls out a knife
Potato head narrows his eyes
He says, "I'm gonna cut you down to size--into french fries."
Mr. potato head just grins and says well go ahead and try
Hugo pulls out his tater-grater and says
Prepare to meet your creator-tater
Tato head pulls out his detonator and says
This is the last time you will try to rule the world you evil guy
You know i'm not afraid to die
And then lets a spud missile fly
There's silence
As the smoke clears
A pile of noses and ears
In a gigantic crater
Lies our beloved tater
Mr. potato head
Opens up his eyes
Now he's the undisputed
Master of disguise
Is he alive, or is he dead
It's hard to tell with mr. potato head
All hail
Mr. Potato Head
Mr. Potato Head
Eyes are everywhere