I’m so glad you’re my ex

I can‘t imagine we‘ve ever been a couple
Now I‘d rather be together with an apple
Which is more profound
And doesn‘t bum around
How could we ever have sex?
I‘m so glad you are my ex

For years I‘ve been blind about you
Now please choke on a corkscrew
I wasted my love and my energy
On a dickhead without personality
You were cool for a couple of years
Now your averageness brings me to tears
Your expressionless face fits
Your ugly new girlfriend who doesn‘t have tits

No one‘s snoring like a walrus now
No one thinks it‘s cute to say meow
No one is afraid of spinach anymore
No one keeps a horse size dildo in his drawer
No one‘s cutting toe nails on the kitchen table
No one tries to cook but isn‘t able
No one breaks his leg when trying to kick a football
No one‘s checking Tinder for amateur hookers

Go fuck your Fatty Patty
Whose weight is twice as high as your IQ

I wasted my love and my energy
On a dickhead without personality
Your expressionless face fits
Your ugly new girlfriend who doesn‘t have tits

You have your bitches, I have my freedom
I got rid of a poisonous demon
Without you, I am so happy
Your boredom is still crappy
Oh, you were such a bore
Listening to post metalcore
Now you're drowning in sorrow
Cause without me, you have no tomorrow
And now stumble one final time
And break your fucking neck, you swine