Mr. Mistoffelees [From Cats]

The greatest magicians have something to learn
From mister mistoffelees' conjuring turn
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever a cat so clever as magical mister Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever a cat so clever as magical mister Mistoffelees

He is quiet he is small he is black
From his ears to the tip of his tail
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail

He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always deceiving you into believing that he's only hunting for mice
He can play any trick with a cork

Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment and then it is gone
You find it next week lying out on the lawn

And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever a cat so clever as magical mister mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever a cat so clever as magical mister mistoffelees

His manner is vague and aloof
You would think there is nobody shyer,
But his voice has been heard on the roof
When he was curled up by the fire

And he's sometimes been heard by the fire
When he was about on the roof
(At least we all heard that somebody purred)
Which is incontestable proof

Of his singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call
Him in from the garden for hours
When he was asleep in the hall

And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat

And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever a cat so clever as magical mister Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever a cat so clever as magical mister Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever a cat so clever as magical mister Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever a cat so clever as magical mister Mistoffelees

Ladies and gentlemen
I give you the marvelous, magical mr. Mistoffelees