Blue

"We'd like to sing a children's song for you now, that's unique.
It's the only children's song that we've ever encountered
That contains all three of the basic elements of every single children's song.
The first element is simplicity, so that the child can understand the song.
The second element is pathos, to prepare the child for later traumatic experiences.
And the third element is repetition, to give the child a false sense of security".

I had a dog and his name was Blue
I had a dog and his name was Blue
I had a dog and his name was Blue
I betcha five dollars he's a good dog, too
Singin' "here, ol' Blue, you're a good dog, you!"

Ol' Blue come when I blow my horn
Ol' Blue come when I blow my horn
A' Blue come a' runnin' through the yella' corn
A' Blue come a' runnin' when I blow my horn
Singin' "here, ol' Blue, you're a good dog, you!"

"What if this song were to be changed? Modified by an unscrupulous modifier of folks songs,
Whose business it is to make this type of song palatable for the teenage, deliquent,
"Mother-my-dog" instinct. And then it would be a rock and roll song."
("Oh, nasty, unscrupulous modifier!"
"Now it would sound something, like this:"

Hup two three four five six hey!
Well I got a dog and 'is name is Blue,
I betcha five dollars he's a good dog, too,
Oh, Oh, oh, yow!
Bow wow bow wow bow wow, oh,

"Well Blue
Why did you leave me sweetheart?
Blue you promised to write
and I, I sit I sit
I sit alone at night now,
Sifting sand through my fingers,
(Looking for some trace of you)

Come back Blue, I, I, I,
I want you I, I, I,
I need you
And I'm Going To Have You!

Here, Blue!