I'll Get By

I used to listen to my life
I was so put together
I chose what I wanted to be in that age of chasing sand
The age of believing in everything
But I couldn't save you
I couldn't save what was taken away
And I'm still singing, and you still can't stay
You "loved life" and those words have lasted
I just wish I would have had ears for more than what you said
Because I still feel the lack long after
Such a light body, such a quiet gait leaving behind the weight of the world
I'll always think it was too early to lose your shine
I guess the means that ends us means nothing
I just hope it's the peace we all need
Because I could love and drown in your God damned smile lines
But I think I burnt up watching you rallying to stay alive
And I guess that's fine
It seems we all get sick
We all die in some no name hospital with the same colored walls
And I guess that's fine
But I want to swallow, I want to stomach, I want to live
It's been a rough while and some days are worse than others
There's no proper way to feel, no mirth, no levity, no amazing grace
Just a flame on a lake floating away
I can't let you lay
I want you to know, I'm learning patience against my will
I want you to know, I'll get by, always barely scraping
With just a hunger, with just a heart apart
It's a hell of a thing