Bad Babysitter
[Intro: Mr. Eon & Princess Superstar]
Okay, honey
Now the name of the restaurant and my cellphone number are on the refrigerator (Uh-huh)
Don't be afraid to call if you need anything
Now, have Josh in bed by nine (Uh-huh)
Mm, 9:30 the latest (Sure)
Now, there's soda and chips in the kitchen (Great)
Atari, DVD player
And I think there's some board games in the closet (Uh-huh, great)
Oh, but one thing, just be good (Okay)
[Chorus]
I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour
I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour
[Verse 1]
Babysitting sucks, but whatever, they got junk food, kung fu
Egg fu, Dig Dug, a dog too, and a hot Jew
Mr. Weintraub, I mean he's old but not dimed out
If I'm bad, I'll turn around in the corner for time-out
Aight, Josh, what you wanna do? You wanna watch cartoons?
HBO got Platoon (No), hey, get back in the room
I assume your folks are gonna be out late, go make me Kool Aid
I'ma sit on the couch and masturbate then call my boyfriend Gabe and see if he ate
Spit out my Bubblicious and get to one of them big fridges that could fit ten midgets
Damn, they rich, hey, she left me fifty dishes, bitch
Let's try on ya mom's minks, think she'll miss these Chanel links?
In high heels you look like Jar Jar Binks, go play under the sink
(I want my mommy and daddy!) I want your daddy as well
But if you tell, you'll die of sickle cell and God told me you're goin' straight to Hell
Well, if you don't like it, I can leave and then you'll be alone
Believe me, that's what the creepy monsters want, plus I'll be taking your TV (No)
Put on your 'jamas and don't wet the bed, I got a camera
I'll take a picture and show that little girl you like, Sarah
Oh, and one more thing, there's been several mass murderers spotted in the area
[Chorus]
I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour
I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour
[Verse 2]
Let's make Fluffernutters, don't fuckin' utter another peep
I'll take the cookie cutter and make star cookies outta ya skin while you sleep
Keep still, I gotta check the bathroom cabinet, hey, what are these pills?
I'll take the Valium, Josh you take a bag of the Tagamet
Stop throwin' up, I'm not paid enough, you clean up the rug
Is that Fluff? I told you six boxes of unmade Jell-O was too much
Aight, kid you gotta go to bed
I know it's only six, but my boy just came over and he wants me to give him head
Sit his bare ass on the couch where you watch Small Wonder
And next time you see Vicky the spot'll be sticky 'cause I sucked his dicky and used your mom's cucumber
Don't worry, I'll put it back in the Frigidaire, scared?
You can have it for supper nice and crisp in the Tupperware (Ew)
No bedtime story, Gabe, get off you're so horny!
Josh, get in bed and Freddy Krueger might let you see your mom in the mornin'
No porn and shut the shade, kid
One day you'll know how nice it is to get laid while you're gettin' paid
[Chorus]
I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour
I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour
[Verse 3: Princess Superstar & Mr. Eon]
Oh, dag, they just came back
Jeez, Mr. W, your wife looks bad
Oh, it must have been the drinks she had
We drank some mai tais, watched jai alai
Ripped off her thigh highs, um, too much information, I need a ride
Oh, let's take the the Benz, that's the coolest car I ever seen
How old are you again? I forget, nineteen?, uh
Yeah, psych, in like four more years
Oh, one time, could you please show me one of those nice cheers? (Woo!)
Have you been working out? No doubt, here's your house
You wanna come in? We just got this awesome new couch
Ouch, stop it girl, can't I get a little peek?
Nah, girl, I'll take a rain check and see you next week
[Chorus]
I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour
I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour
I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour
I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour