Too Old

I don't want a birthday party
Who the hell would I invite?
Pretty pictures of youth with sharper features
A familiar room with much harsher hues
Sharp-toothed big menacing grins

I don't want a birthday party
I never liked the taste of cake
I'd rather starve instead and tend to my cruel guests
And rehearse gratitude at their sweet little lies
One more tone-deaf birthday card

I don't want a birthday party
If I get any big balloons
I'll pop every last one, I'm supposed to have fun
The only gift that I'll get is a bullet-struck head
Words weigh down my bloodshot eyes

I don't want a birthday present
I don't want your pity either
I try to be so composed, even when I’m alone
A little painted smile, self-assured demeanor
Does nothing to mask the truth:
I'm too old for birthday parties anyway
I'm too old for birthday parties