The Pirate Song

Sixteen men on a dead man's chest yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum
Avast there, mates you're sailing with Long John Blackbeard Pegleg Patcheye Hook!
The scourge of the Bounty Main!
The bloodthirstiest, black-heartedest pirate captain ever sailed the seven seas!
Ha ha,what say ye, we hoist the Jolly Roger, heel over to yonder Spanish galleon
Lay a few broadsides again' her timbers
Swing over there on these here lanyards with our cutlasses in our teeth
Cut out the rivets and split the booty
What say ye to that, me hearties? Ha ha ha

I don't like it
You don't like it?
I don't like it and I don't wanna do it!
It's tacky, tacky, tacky, tacky and don't look at me that way
Well, if you don't like it, what do you want?

I want to sing and dance
I want to sing and dance (Sing and Dance)
I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance
Wear me silver buckle slippers and me tight shiny pants
I want to sing and dance!

You wanna sing and dance? Hah!
Well, you don't like plunderin', eh? Shiver me timbers, how 'bout treasurin', huh?
Rubies and emeralds, pearls
Gold doubloons British soverigns, silver chalices encrusted with diamonds and jewels!
Necklaces and bracelets of every shape and size, fit for the crown heads of Europe, eh?
And all buried in a pirate's chest and I just happen to know where
How 'bout that me bloodthirsty buckos, eh ha ha ha

I don't like it!
You don't like it?
I don't like it and I don't want it!
Ye don't want it

And I won't do it! I'm an artiste!

An artiste! Well, Mr. Artiste, what do you want?

I want to sing and dance
I want to sing and dance (Sing and Dance)
I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance
Wear me silver buckle slippers and me tight shiny pants
I want to sing and dance!

Now listen here, this ain't no floating Gilbert and Sullivan show, you know
For some little flittin' Tinkerbell
This here be a black-hearted pirate ship
And I'd have you keelhauled if you weren't me own flesh and blood you little twit!
So you don't like plunderin', eh?

I don't like it!
And you don't want no treasurin', huh?
I don't want it!
And you probably don't want no groggin' and revelin' and wenchin' and rummin' either, I suppose?

Well, deep down, you wanna know the truth?
It's not me I don't want it

Well, what do you want?
As if I didn't already bleeding know

I want to sing and dance, and

I know, I know and wear your tight little shiny pants ehh
Okay, we'll all sing and dance!

I said we'll all sing and dance!
Or you'll walk the plank!
One, two, three

I want to sing and dance
I want to sing and dance
I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance

(I like it, I like it) wear me silver buckle slippers and me tight shiny pants (I kind of like it me own self)
I kinda thought you would
I want to sing and dance!

Sixteen men on a dead man's chest! Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!
I don't like rum

You don't like rum?

Well, no, actually, well, I might like a little Perrier
A little Perrier? With a lime in it
A lime in it
He wants a lime in it

Well, do you have any escargot? (Escar-what?)

What's your soup today? (Soup?)
Might have a bit of a salad, too (Well, how about a bleeding fingerbowl?)

And maybe a croissant, is that right? Those French make everything so hard, why didn't they just call it a bun?