The Bartender’s Just Like a Mother

Oh the bartender’s just like a mother
With his apron so clean and white
For he tries to make everyone happy
And he never looks for a fight
Whenever I'm sad and lonesome
He’ll always get me to smile
Oh the bartender’s just like a mother to me
And I am his favorite child

Oh the bartender’s just like a mother
And I know he's man's best friend
Cos he passes the pretzels and peanuts
To the guy alone on the end
Whenever my wife comes hunting
He says I haven’t been in
Oh the bartender’s just like a mother to me
And I’m his favorite kin

Oh the bartender’s just like a mother
For he knows when I've had enough
He refuses to give me another
When I ask for more of the stuff
He won't let me be forsaken
No matter how much it may cost
Oh the bartender’s just like a mother to me
Cos I’m the bartender’s boy

Oh bartender, make me slender
Oh bartender, I surrender
Oh bartender’s just like a mother to me