Time For Myself

I grew up with a lot of racism
And only Lord knows how much I hated them
For showing me hate and never had I been mean to them
Was just a little kid trying to get friends with them

They used to call me ugly names cause my skin was dark
I couldn't take the pain couldn't play in the park
But that didn't stop them they used to shout from far

Saying go back home cause a nigger you are
And at that time I didn't even know what that meant
I was probably six or seven year's old man
I told the teachers, never got help

All they said, you gotta know
Your different play with yourself
Man, I felt so alone
Never liked school couldn't wait to get home
But as the days passed I got through it all
But from time to time I break down
When I remember it all so

I just need a little time for myself
So I can, think bout my life no body else
I just need a little time for myself

So I can take it easy, do ya hear me
I had low self esteem
Always walked fast passed the mirror
Wouldn't see, or except myself
I didn't wanna be me
I would have done anything so I could be somebody else

I tried to fit in, but wouldn't get in
The only place I got in was the wrong click
I hung in but it wasn't good for me

I knew I wanted much more than to pocket pick
I was afraid how my life would end
No body wanted me around I wasn't good with friends

Probably cause I wasn't trying to let
Anybody see the real me and know how I felt
They'd look down on me
Say what I couldn't be

That's what my mind used to say slowly killing me
But days passed I got through it all
But sometimes I remember it all so

I just need a little time for myself
So I can, think bout my life no body else
I just need a little time for myself

I used to think that love last forever
But when my parents divorced I cried forever
I saw it coming but refused to understand it
Why it happened to us, I couldn't handle it

See I was used to having problems outside
Cause when I came home I had a reason to smile
But when that stopped, where was I to turn to

Didn't trust anybody else to talk to
I got weird it affected my life
Started with bad thoughts everyday was a fight
Kept everything inside, never talked about it
I put on my mask like everything's alright

Between the age of thirteen to nineteen
Drama all around and I got caught up in between, shit
But days passed I got through it all
But sometimes I remember it all so