Sweaty Dollar Bills

It's time to hang up my G-String
It's time to throw those chaps away
My skin is sagging, my tan is fading
My balls are old and grey

Exotic dancing was my calling
Bionic hips, thunder dick
But father time he bought a private dance
And it was over quick

Good bye bachelorette shows
Good bye soccer moms dirty thrills
Good bye monthly gay nights
And good bye crank and pills
Bought with sweaty dollar bills

The younger dancers started teasing
They called me gramps and leather sack
I hit the stage with righteous fury and threw out my back

Good bye suggestive thrusting
Good bye thong song giving me chills
Good bye classy bow tie
And matching vest with frills
Bought with sweaty dollar bills

Now I must lose my pretensions
Bronzer and blond hair extensions
I’ll miss the people and places
Grinding my junk in their faces
And every Sunday night, hanging out with the guys
And watching Magic Mike

So I toss my leather armband and feather earring to the floor
A single tear streaks my cheek as I walk out the door

Hello reinvention
Hello learning new skills
Hello younger dancers
I’ll sell you crank and pills for your sweaty dollar bills