Behind the Door
Behind the door, another broken door
There‘s someone inside
As I bend my knee
I give my life to thee
Opressor, enabler
Fuel to the fire
A collector of grinded teeth
Sovereign of tears
When I get out there, I remember that there was a well-dressed person that I had never seen before, there wеre aslo two bigger guys. One sat in my armchair and two sat in my sofa. It was almost likе in a movie. It was so damn uncomfortable and I was so scared and they looked at me and saw that I was really scared. They had guns and it was something completely new to me, I had never come in contact with guns before and that type of people. So I had a panic attack and started to cry, I was completely broke and they told me “you have two weeks, otherwise something very bad will happen”
After they had left the only thing I felt was, god I am glad my friends haven‘t arrive yet, they will come soon and I will not have to feel this way. When they do I can go into my little bubble again, and they came shortly afterwards and then it was just a matter of wearing a mask and “hello guys, i’m so glad you came” we sat down and did our thing, and I didn‘t tell them of course
When they left, I lay down and thought to myslef that I have to solve this now, what am I doing. Everything about this mess of loans… the gang behind it… it was the most uncontrollable thing that had ever happened in my whole life
Is there a way out?
Sun sets, skies are black
Would things be different
If I could try again?
Pretend and seal the mask
I managed in different ways to scrape together this money so that I could pay them off. Even when I was about to hand over the money, I thought “I never want to end up in this situation again I have never been so scared in my whole life. Now I have to figure this out, it has to end ”
Despite that, I started playing again a couple of months later. Apparently there is always a new bottom… you think you have reached your bottom but there is always a new bottom. Now that I look back on it, and feel that fear when I was in the bathroom and I hear that someone is in my apartment… and everything with the guns… that after only a few months I thought to myself, I probably just had some bad luck