Pretty Women (feat. Benjamin Magnuson, Mark Jacoby...

Judge Turpin: [Spoken]
Mr. Todd?

Todd: [Spoken]
At your service. And what may I do for you today, sir? A stylish trimming
of the hair? A soothing skin massage?

Judge:
You see, sir, a man infatuate with love,
Her ardent and eager slave.
So fetch the pomade and pumice stone
And lend me a more seductive tone,
A sprinkling perhaps of French cologne,
But first, sir, I think, a shave.

Todd:
The closest I ever gave.

Judge: [Spoken]
You are in a merry mood today, Mr. Todd.

Todd:
‘Tis your delight, sir, catching fire
From one man to the next.

Judge:
‘Tis true, sir, love can still inspire
The blood to pound, the heart leap higher.
What more—

Todd:
What more—

Both:
Can man require—

Judge:
Than love, sir?

Todd:
More than love, sir.

Jude: [Spoken]
What, sir?

Todd: [Spoken]
Women.

Judge: [Spoken]
Ah yes, women.

Todd: [Spoken]
Pretty women.

[Sung]
Now then, my friend.
Now to your purpose.
Patience, enjoy it.
Revenge can’t be taken in haste.

Jude:
Make hate, and if we wed,
You’ll be commended, sir.

Todd:
My lord…
And who, may it be said,
Is your intended, sir?

Judge:
My ward.
[Spoken]
And pretty as a rosebud.

Todd: [Spoken]
Pretty as her mother?

Judge: [Spoken]
What? What was that?

Todd: [Spoken]
Nothing, sir. Nothing. May we proceed?

[Sung]
Pretty women.
Fascinating.
Sipping coffee,
Dancing.
Pretty women
Are a wonder.
Pretty women.
Sitting in the window or
Standing on the stair,
Something in them
Cheers the air.
Ah, pretty women…

Judge:
Silhouetted…

Todd:
Stay within you…

Judge:
Glancing…

Todd:
Stay forever…

Judge:
Breathing lightly…

Todd:
Pretty women…

Both:
Pretty women!
Blowing out their candles or
Combing out their hair.

Judge:
Then they leave. Todd:
Even when they leave you Even when they leave you
And vanish, they somehow They still
Can still remain Are
There with you, There.
There with you. They’re there.

Both:
Ah,
Pretty women…

Todd:
At their mirrors…

Judge:
In their gardens…

Todd:
Letter-writing…

Judge:
Flower-picking…

Todd:
Weather-watching…

Both:
How they make a man sing!
Proof of heaven
As you’re living—
Pretty women, sir!

Judge: Todd:
Pretty women, yes! Pretty women, here’s to
Pretty women, sir! Pretty women, all the
Pretty women! Pretty women…
Pretty women, sir!

Anthony:
Johanna marries me Sunday,
Everything’s set—
We leave tonight!

Judge: [Spoken]
You!

Anthony: [Spoken]
Judge Turpin!

Judge: [Spoken]
There is indeed a higher power to wan me thus in time. Johanna elope
with you? Deceiving slut— I’ll lock her up in some obscure retreat
where neither you nor any other vile, corrupting youth shall ever lay
eyes on her again.

Anthony: [Spoken]
But, sir, I beg of you—

Judge: [Spoken]
And as for you, barber, it is all too clear what company you keep.
Service them well and hold their custom—for you’ll have none of mine.

Anthony: [Spoken]
Mr. Todd!

Todd: [Spoken]
Out! Out, I said!