All My Heroes (for my friends)
You've changed a lot, is it sweets now?
Crazy that you're maybe gonna make your fucking Gs proud
Since year nine you've been flowing I admire that devotion
Back in school we were always smiling we were joking
But you didn't know that I was going home and I was choking
On a vodka bottle, no one I could open up to
No one taught me how
Until that night we took them pills and we cried
I guess we finally fucking let it out
The other evening I was looking through my memories and
Thinking that it's kind of weird that we'd been smoking weed and
Getting drunk for 4 whole years when we were 17
And never second thought about it busy chasing after clouds and empty baggies
I beg you don't forget about me, you ran away and found the stage
While I stayed with the same old sessioners
Never asking questions just
Self medicating and pretending like we're having fun
So tame, ketamine and cocaine
Bags became a habit I would sell it so I don't pay
Couple ounces, couple weeks
Couple benders wouldn't sleep
Couple nights where I would weep just thinking bout what should've been
I never let my tears fall, I thought they wouldn't make a sound
Think you can do it brother, keep on trying, make us proud
Keep on trying make us proud
Keep on trying make us proud
Things haven't been the same since secondary
School, we didn't even know the world was so heavy
We'd see a penny pick it up
love it that having luck
Wish that I could say the same haven't really felt the same
Since we started taking drugs
Pay the price for all that love,
Everyday locked inside my room where I know it's safe
But it ain't
Demons on the walls take the centre stage
I see your Instagram you're superman with Louis Lane
Everybody doing fine, everybody doing great
Everybody's got their likes everybody's got their mates
Happy that you found somebody, honestly I miss the chase
But how come I can't even leave the house without this fucking pain
Nowadays every time I hear my phone belling
It says I love you and I hope you're doing better
Meaning every conversation's heavy, please alleviate the pressure
Wish this motherfucking elephant would leave the room forever
Everything that made me happy, everything that took me home
Left me in the black of night and left me fighting all alone
With knots inside my stomach vomit crawling up my fucking throat
Tried to take my life and left you on the fucking phone
Keep on trying make us proud
Keep on trying make us proud
I miss you boys
I miss those days we used to spend together
Rolling up on park benches, wind the only disincentive
Sparking up in car parks, barging over yards and fences
Hardly got our cards worth, still wanted to live forever
I wish we'd left it but he wouldn't let us
Dragon had a plan and wasn't gonna let us leave already
Three addictive personalities with their feet in this bear trap that takes so many
Hundred thousand pounds of pressure
Now every time I'm dropping you a text it
It says I love you and I hope you're doing better
Wonder if I'm trying so hard to be a good friend
Because I rolled your joints and racked your lines
Applying peer pressure
Blaming other kids coz mum was jumping to believe it
Little did she know I was the fucking ringleader
I guess she needed to believe her own son wouldn't deceive her
Jesus, don't get me started on that social media
I'm always happy in the pictures, always doing what I love
Trust I'm battling with the bad days and batting with the crutch
Likes are just a cheap and lonely substitute for love
I need that childlike wonder if we spent it all on the drugs
We had feeling there was something wrong
Busy with our worries deep inside our mud
You have let it out
Let the world in in any way possible
Open the doors to the light
When you're closed, you're the judge, you're the jury
But it's too dark to see
Irrational becomes rational, worries become truth, and your fabrication becomes the fabric
Lift the veil I lost you behind
I know you're in there, sometimes it's weeks, sometimes it's months
But sometimes I see my friend
I know that one of these visits, one of these homecomings
The cycle will break, and again we'll share those smiles that only we understand
In a room full of love, safe and sound
Just keep on trying, make us proud