Uncle Charlie

Listen, I'm so unbored
"The magic word is relax"
I'll rub Ho-Toi, his god of happiness
The one that came with or without boys

And Make my wish for the day:
No more revenge cobbler or whiskey pie
And Make my wish for the day:
No more revenge cobbler or whiskey pie

My cheeks will be the color of dead jellyfish lying on the beach
Let me tell you how
Many 18th Century grandfather clocks can you squeeze into your neighbors' niches
If only I knew
I offered: become a collector of small objects

Make my wish for the day:
No more revenge cobbler or whiskey pie
Make my wish for the day:
No more revenge cobbler or whiskey pie

My cheeks will be the color of dead jellyfish lying on the beach
Was I a senior junior appraisal appraiser at Mistie's Auction Hut in Centereach?
Or was I a low level high level appraiser of appraisal at Snugaby's
Crazy Quilts and Collectibles Collection in Hempsted Hollow?
I can hardly remember

Last year Uncle Charlie sang a different tune
"The two words I hate most are 'good enough'."
Flipped through the sliding slack racks:
"Look at what it says on my red-patched pocket:
If you're going to be something, why not be something special?"

Pull out the loathsome weeds
Don't worry big girl;
He sat me down on his handmade Mexican Mountain chair
And showed me his calendar for the next six months

Make my wish for the day:
No more revenge cobbler or whiskey pie
Make my wish for the day:
No more revenge cobbler or whiskey pie

My cheeks will be the color of dead jellyfish lying on the beach
To locate my ex-boyfriend check the Yellow Pages under plywood
To locate my ex-boyfriend check the Yellow Pages under plywood
We lived together under a Sears Bellissimo Bedspread