Final Debate Songified

[BOB SCHIEFFER]
Tonight we witness the final contest -
Two men enter and two men shall leave
But each must answer now my questions three - yeah!

[Chorus]
Preekotos omnipitos romneytos schieffertos freetos obamatos

[BOB SCHIEFFER QUESTION 1]
How could we ship jobs to Shanghai
When America invented the chicken pot pie

[OBAMA]
We have brought cases against China for violating trade rules
We are going to insist that China plays by the same rules

[ROMNEY]
They're hacking into our computers
Counterfeiting our goods, stealing our intellectual property
Our patents, our designs (okay!)

[OBAMA]
China's a potential partner if it's following the rules

[ROMNEY]
We wanted to trade with them
But you gotta play by the rules

[BOB SCHIEFFER QUESTION 2]
Now that we're finally bringing troops home
Won't the Afghans be lonely when they're all alone

[OBAMA]
When Afghans are perfectly capable of defending their own country (yeah,)
There's no reason why Americans should die

[ROMNEY]
The Taliban they're gonna come rushing back in when we go (uhhuh)
The Afghan forces have to be able to provide securitay

[Chorus]
(Preekotos omnipitos romneytos schieffertos freetos obamatos)
SCHIEFFER: Why should you run the show
OBAMA: We decimated Al-Qaeda's core
SCHIEFFER: Tell us 'cause we need to know
OBAMA: I want to bring jobs back to our shores
(Preekotos omnipitos romneytos schieffertos freetos obamatos)
SCHIEFFER: Two more weeks until we vote
ROMNEY: We need to have strong allies
SCHIEFFER: Who can really run the show
ROMNEY: My strategy's to go after the bad guys

[BOB SCHIEFFER QUESTION 3]
Is the threat from Iran getting overblown?
Or should I use my Xbox to bomb them with drones?

[OBAMA]
Their economy is in shambles
We organized the strongest sanctions in history

[ROMNEY]
Crippling sanctions do work
You're seeing it now

[OBAMA]
I'm glad Romney agrees
They wanna see Israel wiped off the map

[ROMNEY]
If Israel's attacked, we have their back

[OBAMA]
Israel's a true friend
America will stand with them

[BOB SCHIEFFER QUESTION 4]
Should we increase our military size
So we can keep killing every single bad guy

[ROMNEY]
Our navy is smaller now than any time since 1917
I want to make sure that we have the ships
That are required by our navy

[OBAMA]
You mentioned that we have fewer ships
We also have fewer horses and bayonets
Because our military's changed

[Chorus]
(Preekotos omnipitos romneytos schieffertos freetos obamatos)
SCHIEFFER: Why should you run the show
OBAMA: We decimated Al-Qaeda's core
SCHIEFFER: Tell us 'cause we need to know
OBAMA: I want to bring jobs back to our shores
(Preekotos omnipitos romneytos schieffertos freetos obamatos)
SCHIEFFER: Two more weeks until we vote
ROMNEY: We need to have strong allies
SCHIEFFER: Who can really run the show
ROMNEY: My strategy's to go after the bad guys
SCHIEFFER: Whoo!!

[OBAMA]
Thank you

[ROMNEY]
Thank you so much

[BOB SCHIEFFER]
That's all folks
Schieffer out, now I'm 'bout to go home
Been a long day, so it's time to get my drank on
Ninety minutes I've been spittin' bout our foreign policy
Ninety minutes I'll be sippin' on a glass of Hennessy
Let me leave you with a thought from my mom
Go out and vote, makes you feel big and strong