I Have Never Seen A Face Like This

DIRRY-MOIR
[Spoken] You must come with me to the fair! I have seen the most incredible act. A man, a horribly, horribly disfigured man

[Sung]
I have never seen a face like this
Josiana, it’s a thing you mustn’t miss
A creature carved from burning hell
With heaven in his eyes
The ugliest, most brutal, and most delicate surprise

I promise you this man has changed my world
He makes me want to giggle like a river full of pearls
A miracle, an angel with a mutilated cheek
I promise you, my love, he is the greatest ever freak

JOSIANA
[Sung]
I love it when you jump about like this

DIRRY-MOIR
[Spoken] Oh, really?

JOSIANA
[Sung]
Where is this thing that’s given you such bliss?

DIRRY-MOIR
[Spoken] Like this?

JOSIANA
[Sung] I’d like to come and see it but to tell the truth I’m torn
To see you jumping up and down has given me the horn

DIRRY-MOIR
[Sung]
Not right now
First you must come with me
And see what I’ve found

JOSIANA
It’s not like you to pass up on a kiss

DIRRY-MOIR
But I’ve really never seen a face like this
Screaming skin, a devil’s grin, a lipless nest of teeth
And what’s more a story that will make you weep with grief

JOSIANA
[Spoken] Alright, tell me

DIRRY-MOIR
[Sung]
In the first bit, there’s a puppet of a child

JOSIANA
[Spoken] Oh, fuck off

DIRRY-MOIR
[Sung]
No, trust me, by the end it drives you absolutely wild
And in between a love affair that’s beautiful and true
But more ugly and erotic than a visit to the zoo

JOSIANA
[Sung]
Brother mine, concentrate and tell me what has blown your mind

DIRRY-MOIR
[Spoken] At first, it makes you shudder with the shock. Then, every pain you’ve ever felt starts screaming in the pit of your soul. It flies into the air, through your mouth, your eyes, and your hands, and then you forget who you are entirely. And you’re utterly lost

[Sung]
And then, with sudden clarity, you’re him and he is you
And then you see that all the people round you feel that too
And then almighty laughter splits the silence like a knife
A shout of triumph from the heart
The pure laughter of life

JOSIANA
Oh, brother, this is what I’m waiting for
Let’s go! It sounds much better than a wriggle on the floor

DIRRY-MOIR
Let’s get down to the fair and see him while he is still here
The talent scouts might snap him up and then he’ll disappear

A cherub with a really rather ghastly homemade grin

JOSIANA
You’re my treasure

DIRRY-MOIR
As if his teeth were razor sharp and bursting through the skin

JOSIANA
Built for pleasure

DIRRY-MOIR
He’ll reach into the heart of you and pull your soul right through ya

JOSIANA
Made to measure

DIRRY-MOIR
That’s while I’m jumping up and down and screaming hallelujah

JOSIANA
For our [?]

DIRRY-MOIR & JOSIANA
In all my days
I have never smiled
Like I smile today