Falling Out

Falling out
I'm so tired of pretending
That I know what I want
Or what I give to you from now on

I won't say that I'll never hurt you or anyone
I won't lie but I'm still a hypocrite like everyone

[Benjamin Lukens, Edward Rawls]
The words that I found are no restitution
This pain in my chest
For crimes of the soul that resolve the illusion
As I break a sweat
Of TV screen romance and true intuition
I feel sick to my stomach
Silver screen shootouts and lives that have missions
Another heart attack

And I can't say that I don't know why I did what I did
Falling down, falling through, I fell out of you
And I don't know what I hope to find within these words
Forgiveness from this quilt of mine, the pain of yours
Falling down, falling through

The words that I found are no restitution
This pain in my chеst
For crimes of the soul that resolvе the illusion
I can't stop breaking sweats
Of TV screen romance and true intuition
I feel sick to my stomach
Silver screen shootouts and lives that have missions
Another heart attack

And I can't say that I don't know why I did what I did
Falling down, falling through, I fell out of you
And I don't know what I hope to find within these words
Forgiveness from this quilt of mine, the pain of yours

And still you ask me why
Though it just doesn't matter anymore
And I don't know why I came here
In the first place or before
And I don't know why photographs
Of you look like pictures of me
But I can tell you I never lied
When I whispered

The lies that I told you were put there to hold you
Disease in my photographs gave no chance to second guess
I prepared lies all my life just to rehearse my lines
For the act of this cold heart attack
I can't say anymore
Please don't ask me that
Because I just don't know
Why I'm falling out