The Unfortunate Miss Bailey
[Intro]
In 1742 it was customary in the township of Halifax
For a gentleman to partake occasionally of ratafia
Which was ... a light-flavored liqueur of amazing potency
Which originated in Middlesex
And which we suppose is the reason for this song
[Refrain]
Oh, Miss Bailey! Unfortunate Miss Bailey!
[Verse 1]
A captain bold in Halifax who dwelt in country quarters
Seduced a maid who hanged herself one Monday in her garters
His wicked conscience smited him; he lost his stomach daily
He took to drinking ratafia and thought upon Miss Bailey
[Refrain]
Oh, Miss Bailey! Unfortunate Miss Bailey!
[Verse 2]
One night betimes he went to bed for he had caught the fever Said he, "I am a handsome man, and I'm a gay deceiver"
His candle just at twelve o'clock began to burn quite palely
A ghost stepped up to his bedside and said, "Behold, Miss Bailey!"
[Refrain]
Oh, Miss Bailey! Unfortunate Miss Bailey!
[Verse 3]
"Avaunt, Miss Bailey!" then he cried, "you can't affright me, really" "Dear Captain Smith," the ghost replied, "you used me ungenteely
A coroner's quest goes hard on me because I've acted frailly
And Parson Biggs won't bury me though I'm a dead Miss Bailey"
[Refrain]
Oh, Miss Bailey! Unfortunate Miss Bailey!
[Verse 4]
"Dear Ma'am," says he, "since you and I must once for all accounts close
I have a one-pound note in my regimental smallclothes
'Twill bribe the sexton for your grave", the ghost then answered gaily
"Bless you, wicked Captain Smith, remember poor Miss Bailey!"
[Refrain]
Oh, Miss Bailey! Unfortunate Miss Bailey!
[Outro]
"All's well that ends well, I suppose"