I Wish I Were a Prostitute Again

He dressed up as a bunny
And licked my little foot
He gave me lots of money
To thrash his naughty butt
And sing when he was done; he
Dressed me up as King Tut

My life was much more funny
And more entertaining then
I wish I were a prostitute again

He paid me for my urine
He paid me for my poop
Dressed like the Shroud of Turin
Costumed as Betty Boop
Or as Martin Van Buren
Or in a hula hoop

I sold him life insurance
And I pocketed the pen
I wish I were a prostitute again

I got him his own collar
Custom made, studded with jewels
I made him whoop and holler
With my very special tools
I am a classics scholar
Because he put me through schools

He had twelve million dollars
Until he gave me ten
I wish I were a prostitute again
I was too busy shopping
To cavort with other men
I wish I were a prostitute again