my lover's reflection/for sophia.

I thought we made it past this, I thought I made advances
My lover is troubled they making it a habit
Their Mind worried I'm going to get to packing
It kills my heart they ain't the only one maddened
Different souls intertwined in an intermittent fashion
Crash landed in their life, intruded them like a bandit
Dealt with myself but they felt abandoned
Kept alongside me despite what happened
Had them broken-hearted twice, turned them into a manic
But we were opposites attracted better than any magnet
Had a dying panic, couldn't put love past it
So we stuck together, and prayed to get better
You're my other half but that half is tethered
Baby I know you tired and want to fly but you lost your feathers
Keep your chin high how I always tell you
Don't listen to your lies you're not a failure
Ease your terrors, and you won't be embarrassed
I love you most even when you not sharing
But I thought I told you to put the pen down
You only human but you fueling creativity out the bottle
More than you consuming
Losing strength I see you fuming, self harming daily
Demons winning and there's nothing you be doing

To save yourself or claim your health
I hate seeing you in silence praying for help

What is it that you want? Come on know your wealth
And stop apologizing every time I yell, it isn't worth it

Accept that you ain't perfect and you're never deserted
I pray for you and your mind, I stay here for you and your life

Don't dare say my love for you a lie
When I've stuck with you through the test of time

And held you tight when shit hit the fan and we was met with the tide
But fuck it, it's up to you to realize what it means in the end and all your lives
The pen has a grip around me
It feels like every time I try to change I go back to counting
Steps I took to get back on foot, and every chance I won I doubted
My abilities
Criminally dissipating my own hopes
Because I'm my biggest enemy in everything I ever shown
Got ahold of you and decided to never let go
Little did I know I'd hurt you more than I supposed
And I spent moment after moment going over every process
That could probably happen
Overstepping that possibly it'll turn into a habit
Turn conversations to arguments, man I could never grasp it
The idea I was loved and had everything I could want handed
Had me thinking it was the devil making advances at me
Deep rooted in the tree that you let me see
I saw through it and within was everything
But I fuck up anything good that touches me
Don't know how to handle love by any means
If my momma don't love me than no one can
That's the thought I had engraved and the chain tighten when I gave it a chance
Told you to be patient but patience runs thin
And when it ends a doctors sure to have a new body to condemn
Turn myself into a wreck because of this, so I wrote it down against your wish
Hope we'd give it a shot again, marking my redempt' with this,

But this is all from what I reflect and not what I regret
Shit, don't let this mark the end