The Story of the Ballad of the Devil’s Backbone Tavern

I come from, uh, Oregon
I probably told some of you that before, that's where I come from
And when I got out of school there by a thread, I went
I got this ride down to Santa Rosa, California and that didn't work out at all
So I called my brother, he was livin' in Austin
He had these friends that were lettin' him stay on their couch
You know, I figured they might have a couch that I could stay on
So I got this ride to Austin, Texas and
Got to this address my brother, uh, gave me
And this guy introduced himself as Bonehead
And, uh, I went in and started askin' around
Turned out they didn't have the second couch
They just had the one couch, uh, for my brother
But they knew, they knew where there was a party
And I thought, well, that's good enough, so, uh
We all got in this car and we drove across town to this party
Where all these people were standin' around, drinkin'
And there was this guy in the corner of the party
His name was Trog
And he was six-foot-eight, three hundred pound guy
And he had a beer in each hand and he was tellin' stories
And people would gather around him and laugh
And they weren't really funny stories
But he's six-eight, three hundred pounds, so
I went over there and started laughin' too, you know
And then, uh, towards the end of the party when everybody drizzled out a little bit, uh
I got to talkin' with Trog, turned out him and his friends
They, they did have an extra couch that somebody could stay on
So I went over to their house and stayed for like three months, you know
And we would, uh, most of the time, at night
We would sit around and listen to whatever Trog said we were gonna listen to on the radio, you know
Drink beer, whatever
One night, we were sittin' there listenin', and uh
He put on this CD of this guy I'd never heard
By Jerry Jeff Walker, who you might've heard of, yeah
If you haven't ever heard of him, his main thing people know him for is the song "Mr. Bojangles"
But he's got a ton of great songs
And, uh, I'd never heard that kind of music before
And I got so excited, I told my friend, I said
"This is it for me, you know?"
He said, "Well, he's playin' at this place called Gruene Hall"
So that friday night, me and Trog got in his truck
And we drove down to Gruene Hall to see Jerry Jeff
And he come out kinda like tonight, like I am
With just a guitar and sang some songs
I thought, "Shit, I could do that," so
So I went and got myself a guitar, you know
And I started practicin' and a few months later, I, I was singin'
And, uh, uh, I feel like
I got all the Jerry Jeff Walker records that there are, got every single one
If you're like me, when you get a record
I like to read the inside, the notes and stuff inside
So I was readin' in some of his Jerry Jeff Walker records
And turns out he records most of his stuff in this little town
Not really a studio, but a little town called Luckenbach, Texas
That you might remember from that song
Willie and Waylon and The Boys, and "Luckenbach, Texas"
The town itself is actually a beer hall, a post office, a house
A parkin' meter and that's the whole fuckin' thing
And Jerry Jeff loved to hang out there and he had become my hero
And they had music on Fridays and Saturdays so I wanted to play there
So I sent my tape over there and tried to get 'em to call me
They never did call me and then one night, we were sittin' around
Watchin' whatever Trog wanted to watch on TV, you know
And the phone rings and this woman says
"Hey, this is Large Marge from down in Luckenbach
And our show on Saturday canceled and we was wonderin' if you could come fill in"
And I got exc—, 'cause I've been six or seven months tryin' to get this show
So I was so excited, my heart's beatin'
I held the phone, checked with Trog, he said it was okay if we took the gig
And that weekend, we all got, we all got in this old four-hundred-and-fity dollar car that I had
And we started drivin' down the highway towards Luckenbach, Texas
And friends and neighbors, if you've never been to Luckenbach, Texas
You may never fuckin' go 'cause
Tourists take the signs that point to it to keep in the garage and stuff
So you get out in the desert and there's no signs
And of course it was just me and all my friends, it's all guys in the car
So we drove 'bout another two and a half hours 'fore we ever
Pulled over and asked anybody where we was
And we, we were on this thing called The Devil's Backbone Highway, right
So we finally pull into this place uniquely named The Devil's Backbone Tavern
And we go in, and all the guys say I gotta go in, you know
So I go in and it's like one of them bars like everyone's drinkin' beer
And there's like, say twenty people in there
And they have maybe, say seventeen teeth total in the whole place
And I'm not a good fighter or very good at protectin' myself at all, you know
So I thought, this could, this may not work out, and um
So I saw behind the bar, there was this one older woman
She looked like she was in her eighties and she hun—, kinda hunched over like I remember my grandma started to do
She kinda had, she had curly white hair and she's all
I thought, "Well, I could take her," so I went over, over there
I go up to her, I says, "Ma'am, we're tryin' to find Luckenbach and we're so lost"
And I swear this is true, she turned around really slow
I'll never forget it, she turned around really slow and she
Looked up at me and she kinda smiled, she says
"Fuck Luckenbach, drink with us"
So we did
And at the, uh, end of the night, you know
We had got our guitars out and we were singin' and everything and drank a whole bunch of beer
And I went up to her, they called her Miss Virgie
So I said, "Miss Virgie, how much do we owe you for the beer?"
And she says, "You don't owe me nothin', boy"
So we started, after that, every Friday after that
We would go down and sing for her, you know
By the end of the summer, I had gotten to know her and I made this song up
Miss Virgie, wherever she is tonight, I don't know, but I play this for her
It features the hottest guitar work that I could do