I am Pagliacci

And I kid, I kid around (kid around)
And I kid, I kid around
'Cause I don't like myself
Sometimes
I just don't like myself (sometimes)
The way I am
The way I am (why so serious?)

Growing up bi-racial wasn't fun
The proverbial sore thumb
But I knew who I was from day one (uno)

I used humor to cover up my sadness
And triple X FUBU to cover up my man tits (stop looking at me)
White girls loved me 'cause I was kinda black (haha)
But too black to introduce me to mom and dad (for real?)
Then there's a point in which you start to get exhausted
For tryna keep these skeletons from spilling out the closet

I blogged about my break down when I nearly lost it
Exercising my demons, had they asses doing crossfit
Got 99 reasons to keep from leaving my apartment
98 are human beings the other's because I'm cautious (leave me alone)

Sometimes I bite my fingernails 'til they bloody
Might skip a few showers but my friends still love me
And I know it might seem a little stupid
I'm almost in my 40s still chubby and reclusive

And I kid, I kid around (to keep from crying)
And I kid, I kid around (it keeps me smiling)
'Cause I don't like myself
Sometimes
I just don't like myself (sometimes)
The way I am
The way I am

When every morning's like stepping on a bunch of loose Legos (ouch)
Nothing sentimental when your own body feels like a rental (who am I?)
Plus my sink ain't even working
I think they cut the water (no)
I'm at the brink at 10 AM my head's already cluttered
So I went to see this shrink and he wrote a prescription said
"There's a clown in town, pay him a visit
I guarantee you by the end of the show you'll be cured of all your sorrow" (yeah, right)
I said, "Doc, sit down, there's something you should know"
(Let me take some notes here)
I am that clown, I been the clown
And I always kid around tryna kill the clown (yeah)
And you don't really care
You just play a doctor on television
With an overpriced leather chair for me to bitch in (hmm)
"Well I've assessed the story and I think that I should mention
I just prescribe the pills and get paid to listen"

'Cause I don't like myself
Sometimes
I just don't like myself (sometimes)
The way I am
The way I am