matty's mattresses: from larvae to monarch

Hello shoppers, once again it's your boy, Chuck Foolery
I hope your shopping experience has been as awesome
As seeing that orange big potato being shuffled out of the oval office
As it was for me
Question
Do you ever wanna just roll yourself up and to await a new day
And forget about your shitty day?
If so, go to aisle 12 and peep out our brand new monarch mattress
It's absolutely cocoonish
Is that even a word? Who gives a fuck
But I sure do remember that movie from the 80's with all the geriatric floks
And I'm telling you, the Full Monarch is the perfect mattress for you
With its climate control and remote control
You go to bed feeling like a larvae
And wake up feeling like a full on monarch butterfly
If you don't believe me, just ask my buddy Jerry
(It's great)
Also, make sure to claw your way to aisle 8 for a taste of heaven
Again, thank you for shopping at Matty's Mattresses where our motto is and always will be
"You've never slept better"
Yeah di-doo