HIDEAS 5
Woah, woah, woah
Church, Church, Church, Church
Six fifty gallon drums
Fill them mugs up at the co-op
Make three of 'em scratch feed
The other three haul corn
I hold it down like Yellow straps
Automatic in my zone
I wreck shit, but I won’t break
No body parts at AutoZone
But you gon' need a arm and
Leg like you escaped the Zodiac
And crawled your half-ass ass back home and
Made it to your fuckin' steps
Then got ran over by a taxi cab
That don’t exist 'cause hipster kids
With hipster friends do hipster shit
"I was vloggin' on my Uber shift
Then totally, like, hit this kid
Then when I grabbed my rear-view mirror
It looked like Master Splinter was pullin'
It into the fuckin' sewer system"
River, river, river rat
River Rat-a-saurus Rex
I'm like, "Who the fuck is
That?" I'm just kiddin', i don’t look back
School y’all hoes, don't touch
My backpack, no textbook, i make my own maps
Christopher Columbu-Church
I set sail and set eyes on icecaps
New horizon’s where my mind's at
My DNA has had wire taps
Took shrooms and rode a cow
Then ended up with
A jug of milk in a motherfuckin' space ship
I I I What the fuck?
Where's the Hershey’s syrup, boy?
I know I'm transparently white, but I still
Like a little bit of chocolate, son
Bitch, I'm Vanilla Ice, ice, Baby Face Nelson
Cornbread fed
Ain't a fuckin' thing you can tell me
Moonwalkin' in the mesosphere
Beats headphones taped to my ears
Blarin' a 2000's beat then Y2K my engineer
Ble-ble-bu-ble-ble-br over the system
When I function
Mumble rappers brain cells are in
The negative with the numbers
They like, "Yo, yo, yo, roll that
Shit, I flipped that shit, i did that drip"
You sound like you dipped your
Face in Elmer's glue, kindergarten kid
You can follow me if you want
Your lyrics chiseled in hieroglyphics
I'm flyer than a hang glider on
A cliff with infinite wind, bitches
And I'll put you on crutches from gettin'
Trucks sticked in a mud pit
Make your nuts seem more bald
Than Michael Phelps' fuckin' armpit's
You can dive down deep
To my underground depth
My holy water the darkest
Petroleum jelly yourself
The Polar Bear Club ain't even accepted by me
The last time the ice age
Happened I thought of a rhyme and made the
Fuckin' dinosaurs extinct no comet
I don't gotta be a comet
Through the universe divide
I'm convinced that Willie
Waylon and Johnny can travel time
Go listen to Highwaymen, yeah
These people think I'm crazy
Interviewers leave my house because the
Ghost be in their faces
But it's only when I'm talkin' music
Ask Matt 'bout the missin' footage
Ask Bri 'bout how I can use my
Mind to cut the lights off, homie
If I go missin'
The Men in Black done picked me up
But they better have a blunt
Inside that flashy thing, son
Alright, come here, look straight
Right here, alright, hold still
Ahh, god damn, motherfucker
That's my fuckin' eyes
What? Uh, you still remember?
Of course I fuckin' remember, dick
I'm the one who made that fuckin' thing
Let me see it, alright, you hold still
Alright, ahh, who are you?
Haha, I'm Church, buddy church