Put Another Log on the Fire (Male Chauvinist National Anthem)

Put another log on the fire
Cook me up some bacon and some beans
And go out to the car and change the tire
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe
And then go fetch my slippers
And boil me up another pot of tea
Then put another log on the fire, babe
And come and tell me why you're leaving me

Now don't I let you wash the car on Sunday?
Don't I warn you when you're gettin fat?
Ain't I gonna take you fishin' with me someday?
Well, a man can't love a woman more than that
Ain't I always nice to your kid sister?
Don't I take her driving every night?
So, sit here at my feet 'cause I like you when you're sweet
And you know it ain't feminine to fight

So, put another log on the fire
Cook me up some bacon and some beans
Go out to the car and lift it up and change the tire
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe
And then go fetch my slippers
And boil me up another pot of tea
Then put another log on the fire, babe
And come and tell me why you're leaving me