fateful whispers (feat. Ashley Irene)

Tears of pain running down my scarred cheeks
Choking on the sobs, soaking all my bedsheets
Outnumbered by voices pushing this coward to flee
Fighting off all the demons, it's a self-killing spree

A dead end journey of chasing inner peace
With a mind that celebrates a feeling of grief
Unlocking every negative thought when I fall asleep
Constantly feasting on my doubts to manipulate my dreams
To make me feel like I'm nothin
I don't know how to say this but I'm hurt and
Heavy like a burden
So I shut out all the curtains
I don't let the light in
Now I'm sittin in a dark room alone, abandoned with no purpose

Accompanied by my insecurities
Filled with empty promises of a hopeful future, what could be?
And I try to let them go but will I ever be free?
Fall down to my knees, hold my hands up and plead
"God set me free cause I'm sick of this woe
I've been stuck in the middle of the past and before
I'm trapped in here addicted to the taste of letting go
I just need to escape so please show me the door"

I don't wanna die, I just wanna hear a voice
But helpless calls are giving me no choice (No choice)

I don't wanna end up an old memory
I don't wanna leave my note in a melody
This isn't how I imagined things would be
Set me free
With an epiphany
I've never been so depressed
A faint cry when I knelt
In front of my pyre that's been lit inside of my chest
Either a noose for the neck, or a bullet to my head
They're all just my fateful whispers
They're all just my fateful whispers

Or maybe we could find a way
Down a path paved with darkness, the end inhumane
And it's one that leaves everybody else in pain
You thought you'd feel better but you just feel the same
Now you've passed the hurt on to the ones you loved
All because you didn't try instead you just succumbed
Now their hands are dirty with the stains of blood
And they blame themselves cause they feel they weren't enough
It's an endless cycle of pain and regret
"Was it us? did we make him feel neglected"
No, you were weak. there, I said it
If you were strong you would've fought the urge and burnt that letter
Kept your head up and tried to communicate
There's always a way to alter your fate
You just gotta be willing to take
That step to get outta that lake
That's drowning you with self-hatred
And elate at the fact
That you made it at last
Then cut a cake with your dad
Blow out the candles and say I love you and I'm finally happy

But its too late now and
Let it dawn on you that
The sun has finally set
Its a "helpless debt"
It's a life that you wrecked
Now you'll cry and repent
Cause all along you've been blessed
And you were destined for great things
And You had people obsessed with loving you
What about your friends? And your parents
Who saw you as their only happiness
A protagonist who turned to the other side
Your little hands they held onto
As you slipped away
Day by day
Like pieces
Of a brittle cold night
Now deceased
An act that you took out of spite
Treason
For the past that you left behind
A villain
That's the legacy you're leaving
I hope that you're listening

I don't wanna end up an old memory
I don't wanna leave my note in a melody
This isn't how I imagined things would be
Set me free
With an epiphany
I've never been so depressed
A faint cry when I knelt
In front of my pyre that's been lit inside of my chest
Either a noose for the neck or a bullet to my head
They're all just my fateful whispers
They're all just my fateful whispers...

Son, can you hear me?
The pills the doctor gave me aren't helping me sleep.
The house is filled with tears and echoless screams
Please come back, I know this is a prank or a dream
But it seems like a nightmare, that questions the sane
And its tearing me apart, cremating you is hard
My brittle heart can only take a few glass shards
And now you've left me on this earth - a childless father

The both of you mean the world to me
But overtime I lost my sense of empathy
I didn't want to comprehend how you'd feel
So I got selfish and took a shortcut to get relief
it wasn't anybody that pushed me
My mind was my destined enemy
For the longest time, a dangerous fiend
My biggest crime - was protecting the beast
I was consumed in my sleep

Don't weep for this coward, save your tears
Days smiled, weeks smirked that the end was near
Spread over countless months, devoured by fear
The devil needed someone, so I volunteered...