Random Tears
[Intro: J-Formz]
Psh, shit...
We're back here huh?
We never left...
That, that's good, that's good...
[Verse 1: J-Formz]
This one's gonna be a problem, they ain't gonna like what I say
Everyone tellin me I need to talk, so fuck it, ok
Where to start? Hmm, how about here:
Can't even look forward to nothin cause I'm livin in fear
Time is passin me by, if I'm excited for somethin
That's next year, well, when it's gets here, my mind'll be buggin
Like: "I'm one year closer", but closer to what?
You know what? I ain't even goin there, I'll shut up
You see, I can't, now I'm sittin here trapped in a hole
Thinkin: "Nobody really miss you like that when you die old"
Life is writin a book in permanent ink
Watchin the chapters fly by every time that you blink
How many pages you got you wish that you could replace?
Spillin your life and never knowin if a reader awaits
You pen a best seller? They don't give a fuck what you wrote
They're judgin from the shelf, so make sure your cover is dope
But...
[Chorus: Sample from Joe Budden - (Intro) All Love Lost]
But this is bigger than havin a debt
I mean I can't stop my brain from imaginin death
Then, out the clear blue sky, I cry random tears
Used to it, me and depression been a tandem for years
I suffer from self doubt, put a cramp in my fears
If there's a God, this would be the perfect span to appear
Out the clear blue sky, I cry random tears
Out the clear blue sky, I cry random tears
[Verse 2: J-Formz]
They always hit me with: "Yo, Formz, why you make sad shit?"
I got no choice, you think I wanna feel like this?
And the worst part is, when I'm actually happy
Somethin inside just won't let me believe that's me
Ain't comfortable in my own skin, I can't win
I get lost in my head like: "Where the fuck have I been!?"
People talk to me, I gotta say: "What??" 50 times
Ain't got a hearing problem, just busy arguin in my mind
And then they try and tell me: "You're just in your own head..."
There ain't nowhere else to go, this where I'm born and bread
I really think I need somethin to believe in
But I don't think that half of you people really believe what you're believin
I am who God made me? Then, he made me to not know if God is real
So, he should know how I feel
But nah, but molestin a kid is nothin?
And my rebuttal is: God must be a selfish motha fucka...
Think about it...
[Chorus: Sample from Joe Budden - (Intro) All Love Lost]
[Verse 3: J-Formz]
Ain't soul searchin, I think I know who I am
I try and like me, but I don't really know if I can
I'm too real with myself, sometimes I wish I could lie
I react a certain way, and then I'm wonderin why
If somethin ain't doin what it should, I'll probably break it
So if my brain ain't workin right, how much longer can I take it?
I'm too busy doin nothin, I got no time to eat
It's like I'm always in bed, but I'm never asleep
I'm not sure that its' the music that I'm listenin to
There's gotta be another reason why I'm miserable
I know the more fun you have, the quicker time go
So maybe if I'm always depressed, it'll go slow, I dunno
One day ask someone to play
A game of russian roulette, what you expect that they'll say?
They'll probably hit you with a: "No way!"
It's fucked up, we got no choice, we really playin every day
But...
[Chorus: Sample from Joe Budden - (Intro) All Love Lost]