Santy for a Day

When I was a kid, they wanted us to write down what it'd be like to be Santy Claus for a day. And I was just a toddler when I writ this. Four years old. And I still got the paper here. It says ’Santa for a Day' by Larry the Cable Guy, 4th grade

I was in a red suit on a wagon full of hay
I wasn't getting laid, I was Santa for the day
We paraded down the street, I was tossing candy away
And rubbers and dirty books, I was Santa for a day
I was drinking Miller Lite, belching ABC’s and threw up a J
But nobody cared, 'cause I was Santa for the day
After the parade, I went down to strip bars with DeWayne and Ray
And the girls sat on my lap 'cause I was Santa for the day
A cop pulled me over for driving backwards on a highway singing 'Jingle All the Way'
But I didn't get no ticket 'cause I was Santa for a day
I threw rocks at illegal immigrants and picked on gays
But they didn't mind ’cause I was Santy for a day

Boy, that’s good. This is good right here

I was wrong for what I did, to the Lord I'll have to pray
But the Lord’ll forgive me 'cause I'm Santa for the day
I give a girl a titty-twister, I think her name was Shay
But she thought I was cool anyway 'cause I was Santa for a day

Boy, if that don’t bring a tear to your eye, you need to get the hell out the country. Git-R-Done. (fart) Sorry