I’ll Have a Theory

[Students]
It's the physicists!
The physicists!
Their experiment has gone wrong!
They've opened a time vortex in the yard!

[John Rawls]
They've opened a vortex

[Fairness]
A vortex!

[Rawls]
A vortex of... justice?

[Fairness]
No, a vortex of time!

[Rawls]
Fairness, wait!

[Fairness]
Professor Rawls, leave me alone!

[Rawls]
Fairness!

[Student 1]
Professor Rawls, she's fallen into the vortex!

[Student 2]
Should I call 911?

[Rawls]
No, I'll go in and save her! And I'll meet the great philosophers while I'm thеre!
[Sung]
I'll have a theory
A thеory of justice
Justice for us, justice for all
Justice no matter if you're big or small

[Rawls + Chorus]
Justice for you everyone in society
Justice no matter if you're weak or mighty
Justice no matter if you're rich or poor
Justice no matter who you voted for
Justice no matter your color of skin
Justice no matter what caste you were born in!

[Chorus]
Goodbye professor, and God be with you
The coolest man in college

[Rawls]
Wish me luck

[Chorus]
Go exploring

[Rawls]
Through time I'm soaring

[Chorus]
Go fill your mind with knowledge

[Rawls]
I'll be back

[Chorus]
Your research methods contain time travel!
Oh man, that's so avant-garde!

[Rawls]
Farewell!

[Chorus]
Take a leap down a brand new vortex in Harvard Yard!

[Rawls]
I'll have a theory

[Chorus]
Will he have a theory, a theory, a theory, a theory?

[Rawls]
I'll have a theory

[Chorus]
A the-o-ry!