There’s A Lycanthrope On The Bus
I'm sitting on a bus to Hell, and I'm not feeling very well
And there's one or two places I know I'd rather be
I'm naked to the seat, wrapped up in a blood-stained sheet
And there's some kind of naked lunatic next to me
Well, that's when I see the "Wolf-man", appearing at the top of the stairs
Fiddling around with a ticket machine, and asking if there's any more fares
But shrouds don't have any pockets for money, and I don't know what to do
'Cause he don't look the sort who's gonna get caught, accepting an I.O.U
There's a lycanthrope on the bus
There's a lycanthrope on the bus
There's a lycanthrope on the bus
And he's heading for us
Big teeth and covered in hair
And he's coming to collect my fare
And I just hope that I don't have to pay in blood
There's a man sitting on the back seat, he's making a bit of a fuss
He says, "There's been some kinda mistake, and it could be I'm on the wrong bus"
But why did God forsake him, and leave him in the lurch?
'Cause he's a sexist, racist, homophobe who went to the wrong fucking church
There's a lycanthrope on the bus
There's a lycanthrope on the bus
There's a lycanthrope on the bus
And he's heading for us
Big teeth and covered in hair
And he's coming to collect my fare
And I just hope that I don't have to pay in blood
And as the bus flies through the night
I try to remember how I died
And I'm not yet completely in control
As the bus conductor says
"We don't want your money"
Yes, you've guessed it
This bastard wants my soul
He wants my soul
He wants my soul
He wants my soul
He wants my soul
And as we reach the gates of Hell, things don't look quite so bad
They're playing loud music, I can see Jane Mansfield dancing with my dad
They're drinking beer and getting it down, things are working out quite well
'Cause everybody's got their own idea of Heaven, which is someone else's Hell
There's a lycanthrope on the bus
There's a lycanthrope on the bus
There's a lycanthrope on the bus
And he's heading for us
Big teeth and covered in hair
And he's coming to collect my fare
But now I know that I don't have to pay in blood
And now I know that I don't have to pay in blood
And now I know that I don't have to pay in blood