Death of a Salesman

The traveling salesman stopped for gas
As it was getting late
He sure was feeling tired
And it was snowing on the interstate
He says "won't 'cha fill 'er up my friend
And see if my oil's alright
And do you know a place where a tired-out traveling man
Might spend the night?"

The attendant winked at him and said
"I bet you been around
Now the man who puts up lodgers here is
Known as Farmer Brown

You'll find him in that old stone house
That's just at the edge of town
And he's got a 15 year old daughter
Who likes to fool around."

Now the salesman winked right back at him
And a smile came to his lip
He paid for the gas and oil
And then he gave that man a tip
He started up and pushed that old gas pedal out to the floor
He roared off like a bat and in nothing flat
He was at the farmer's door

Now the door opened up and a beautiful girl says
"Won't you come on in?"
That traveling salesman's tongue was hanging out like Rin-Tin-Tin
"That old gas station attendant said I would find you here
And do you have a suitable room
You could rent to me my dear?"

"Alas, kind Sir, I'm sorry but the last one's gone you see
So if you want to spend the night
You will have to sleep with me"
And he says "How fortuitous, my pretty little miss"
And he throws his arms around her
And he gives that girl a kiss

Now her warm and tender ruby lips
He scarcely could believe
And he never saw the hammer
She had hidden up her sleeve
She said "I'm getting sleepy
Why don't we go to bed?"
And as they turned to climb the stairs
She whupped him on the head

Now the very next day the salesman's car
With brand new license plates
Was sitting at Farmer Brown's gas station
Out on the interstate
So all you traveling salesmen
Who might be passing through
You better watch your step
Or that traveling salesman joke will be on you