just a little girl who didn't know
I've always had this thing for masochism[00:14.53]You know when it hurts the skin[00:16.17]The heart feels a little lighter, attracted to what hurts[00:19.07]Not in an obvious way[00:20.52]I would find the little things to take the pain away[00:23.65]I was eight when I first started, backgrounded from my parents yells[00:27.40]I would slip my hand to the side of my tights[00:30.02]Press my nails in, then I'd close my eyes[00:33.41]Goodnight[00:36.32]They call it "destructive"[00:39.36]But it actually helps[00:42.29]He was there for me[00:44.21]There was nobody else[00:47.45]I'm so mad, angry like a bitch[00:50.15]Who the fuck pushed me into this?[00:53.31]Now I'm in, I swear I can't get out[00:56.23]There are way too many ways, I can't count[00:59.10]Voices are loud[01:00.70]Anytime, anywhere[01:02.23]They come out[01:03.60]I really don't think I can live without[01:07.75]I can't live without[01:12.33]I was twelve when things got serious[01:14.91]Started bleeding when I felt, cause I hated feeling[01:17.68]Always felt too much, so I "healed it" by bleeding[01:20.83]Does it make sense to you?[01:23.25]Just a little girl who didn't know[01:26.26]How to deal with her strong emotions[01:29.13]No parent, no one taught her[01:32.11]How could they be parents if they're kids themselves?[01:36.37]They call it "destructive"[01:39.42]But it actually helps[01:42.34]He was there for me[01:44.35]There was nobody else[01:47.45]I'm so mad, angry like a bitch[01:50.26]Who the fuck pushed me into this?[01:53.20]Now I'm in, I swear I can't get out[01:56.36]There are way too many ways, I can't count[01:59.22]Voices are loud[02:00.79]Anytime, anywhere[02:02.27]They come out[02:03.76]I really don't think I can live without[02:07.74]I can't live without[02:12.33]I was sixteen when I started having sex[02:14.89]With multiple random strangers met on the internet[02:18.00]Sometimes clubs, sometimes bars, it didn't matter[02:20.93]No one ever minded if I was drunk[02:23.88]It felt like love then it felt like shit[02:26.83]Hurting myself wasn't skin-like anymore[02:29.99]Nobody had to notice[02:31.48]So I found a way, to hurt myself even more[02:35.64]I'm so mad, angry like a bitch[02:38.24]Who the fuck pushed me into this?[02:41.29]Now I'm in, I swear I can't get out[02:44.30]There are way too many ways, I can't count[02:47.21]Voices are loud[02:48.74]Anytime, anywhere[02:50.15]They come out[02:51.67]I really don't think I can live without[02:55.77]I can't live without[03:00.44]Just a little girl who didn't know